2007 IN REVIEW

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

2007 IN REVIEW

Time for my year-end lists... The entries are in no particular order within the categories.


TOP 5 BOOKS READ
One Surrendered Life - Bob Coy
Christmas Reflections - Jars of Clay
Cub Nation - Gene Wojciechowski
Wild At Heart - John Eldgredge
Magnifcent Me - Dan Haseltine


MOVIES IN THEATER
Fred Claus
The Simpsons Movie
The Pursuit of Happyness
Oceans 13
Balls of Fury


DINING EXPERIENCES
Pappadeux (4.8)
Don Pablos (5.6)
Fireside Pies (9.13)
The Salt Lick (4.21)
Jack's BBQ (11.30)


SPORTING HIGHLIGHTS
Cubs win NL Central
Bulls sweep Heat in the playoffs
Bears make the Super Bowl by blowing out the Saints in NFC Championship game
Bradley turns in second straight 22-win season
China Spring makes state championship game at Texas Stadium


SONGS OF THE YEAR
Broken - Lifehouse
Breath - Breaking Benjamin
New Day - Robbie Seay Band
Never Let Go - David Crowder Band
Hibernation Day - Jars of Clay


ALBUMS RELEASED
Who We Are - Lifehouse
Give Yourself Away - Robbie Seay Band
Christmas Songs - Jars Of Clay Five Score and Seven Years Ago - Relient K
Remedy - David Crowder Band


MOST LISTENED-TO CDs
Who We Are - Lifehouse
Turn Around - Jonny Lang
The Killers - Sam's Town
Oh Gravity - Switchfoot
Mute Math - Mute Math


MUST-HAVE PRODUCT DISCOVERY
Blistex Lip Protectant


VERSES
2 Corinthians 3:18
James 4:5
Psalm 91:1
Romans 12:2
Jude 1:20


LYRIC
Broken - Lifehouse
Amatuer Lovers - Switchfoot
Who We Are - Lifehouse
Vindicated - Dashboard Confessional
Mesmerized - Lifehouse


QUOTE
"If we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live desperate demanding and eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it was never mean to bear." -- John Eldgredge (Sacred Romance).


MOST DREADED PHRASE OF THE YEAR
"Moving forward"


HUGE DISAPPOINTMENTS
Matt Drudge retiring from Sunday night radio
Cubs swept in playoffs
Daniel Ruffin hurt
Julie Bowen gets written out of Boston Legal
Mark Prior signs with Padres




Perhaps more lists to be added... Perhaps not. My Year In Pictures coming soon.

Official Stance Concerning Rex Grossman

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Official Stance Concerning Rex Grossman

I thought Rex Grossman would be better than he's been this year. That said, he's still the least of the Bears' problems.

Rex Grossman had a solid season in 2006. He was a world beater in the first month, and was in the early season MVP talks. I'm not exactly sure when the Good-Rex-Bad-Rex talk came into play, but it was in full effect by the time the two-week Super Bowl frenzy rolled around.

I can remember two bad games for Grossman last season. (OK, three...but the New Year's Eve scrimmage against the Packers doesn't count.) He was awful against the Cardinals on Monday Night Football. The Bears won that game. He was bad in the Super Bowl. The Bears lost that game.

But he was great in the playoff games leading up to the Super Bowl. He was clutch against Seattle, and made enough big plays to blow out the New Orleans Saints. Beyond that, l can think of a couple games he single-handedly won with his arm last year as well. He wasn't just a game manager. The Bears' weren't always just winning IN SPITE of their quarterback. But the media created such a monster that almost everyone started to buy into it by the time the preseason rolled around this year. Including Rex.

Rex dropped three fumbles in a preseason game against the Colts this year. All of a sudden, "he's awful!" It was preseason! I truly feel like those three fumbles doomed him though. Remember...when he was benched this season he was only 1-2!!! The Bears' had the Lions next, and I truly believe with all my heart that Chicago would have beaten the Lions and the season would have been a completely different story if they had just let Rex ride it out.

Instead, they jacked with him...benched him, put Griese in, Griese got hurt, put Rex back in, Rex got hurt, and now you STILL don't know what you have in Rex Grossman. If you were going to have a losing season anyway, at least find out what you have in your would-be franchise quarterback.

After Griese's initial debacle at Detroit, he actually looked solid for a couple games. People got excited. They wondered why the Bears didn't make the switch earlier! They thought it justified their Rex hatred.

It didn't. Aside from changing quarterbacks, the Bears changed a lot of other things. First of all, they got a couple of the key defensive players back. Then, they started playing Adrian Peterson a little more. Peterson offered a pass-catching threat out of the backfield that Cedric Benson did not. That was a new wrinkle. So was Greg Olsen--the first tight end taken in the 2007 draft. He was a new weapon. Then they started playing Devin Hester on offense. That opened things up and Griese had a lot of fun with that. They completely changed the offensive game plan and put in a lot of safe passes for Griese. He found moderate success.

Rex wasn't so lucky when he was in there. I can look at a couple key point this season that turned it upside down. One was Ryan Longwell hitting that kick at the gun to beat the Bears after their frenzied comeback. One was the inability to pick up one little first down late against the Giants. Oh there were others. But the single play that stands out in my mind was the deep ball in the first game against San Diego when Bernard Berrian ran the wrong route.

This was supposed to be the year that Bernard Berrian emerged as a true number one receiver. Muhsin Muhammed is getting older. Berrian had a terrific run in the playoffs last year, and he and Rex established an exciting longball threat last year. But he got off to an awful start when he ran that bad route against the Chargers. Rex had been flawless up to that point, and the Bears were driving. At this point in the season, no one's confidence had been shattered yet. No one knew Rex would eventually get benched. No one knew Berrian would have a horribly inconsistent season. All we knew is that the Bears were the defending NFC champs, and that the CHI/SD game was a "possible Super Bowl" preview.
It had been a huge defensive struggle, so the Bears called a TD in the left corner of the end zone. Rex threw a TD ball, but Berrian did not run a TD route. It was picked off. Troy Aikman immediately pointed out that it wasn't Rex's fault. It was Grossman's only pick of the day, but it sent everything in a downward spiral. Not only for the game, but for the season, Rex's confidence, and unfortunately Grossman's career likely.

In fact, the Bear receivers were awful all year long. Especially when Rex was in there. They made the occasional bail-out spectacular catch, but didn't convert the easy chances consistently. Simply put, they didn't help out Grossman at all. Key drops repeatedly when he was starting to find his niche. It killed him over and over and over. You can hide a maybe-mediocre quarterback if you have reliable receivers. The Bears did not.

You can also hide a mediocre quarterback with a good offensive line. The Bears were not good on the O-line. At all. Nor was their running game much of an option.

And let's not forget the Bears traded their best offensive player by a long shot. Thomas Jones was actually the Bears' leading receiver two years ago. Rex had grown to really depend on him in the passing game. At the time I was in favor of the Jones trade in order to go with the much younger Cedric Benson. Then I saw how unreliable Benson was in the passing game.

I don't blame Benson for the Bears' lack of running game. I do, however, think his absolute incompetency in the passing game destroyed Rex and the Bears' offense.
I think it speaks volumes that the three times the Bears' offense looked good this year, they had thrown away their game plan. The final drive to beat Philly when Brian Griese's headset wasn't working. The hurry-up mode in the comeback against Denver where Rex called his own shots and engineered three clutch drives. And the beginning of the Giants game this year when they went no-huddle and Rex was extremely efficient.

That tells me something about the offensive coordinating and the overall game plan. It also tells me Rex is at his best when you turn him loose.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid another team is going to find that out before the Bears do.

MIKE BROWN -- BEARS’ STARTING STRONG SAFETY

Friday, December 21, 2007

MIKE BROWN -- BEARS’ STARTING STRONG SAFETY

I like Bob Sanders OK, I guess. But I actually liked him better the first time around when he was known as Mike Brown.

It's starting to seem like people don't realize that Mike Brown was Bob Sanders before Demond Sanders was Bob Sanders. Needless to say--living and working in the Indy market, I have just about ODed on one Sanders talk this Fall. On the show I produce, they often do a bit called "Sanders' Snaps," where the hosts speak in hyperbole about Demond Sanders as if he were freaking Bill Brasky (of SNL fame). Trust me, it's absolutely hilarious.

One of them is "Seventy-one percent of the Earth is covered by water...the rest is covered by Bob Sanders." See I told you. They're really terrific. Just fantastic stuff.

But it got me thinking about how different the Colts' defense looked toward the end of the regular season last year. They were the worst. Then Demond Sanders comes back and they win the Super Bowl.

Then it got me thinking about what a difference Mike Brown makes in the Bears' defense. And how no one talks about it. The Bears' defense was flat out dominant in the season opener at San Diego. They absolutely shut down LaDanian Tomlinson, and overcame a pathetic offensive performance to even keep it close. But Mike Brown got hurt in that game.

The next day I was listening to Colin Cowherd before the news came down that Brown was out for the season. Despite the Bear loss, Cowherd was going on and on about how awestruck he was by the Bears' defense. "If the Bears' defense stays healthy," he crowed, "you can pen them in the NFC championship game. Write it down."

Then Brown was out for the year. Then the Bears lost 34-10 to the Cowboys (their only blowout of the year, by the way). All of a sudden, "Man, the Bears' defense sucks!!!"

I asked Brian Peterson right around that time, "How come it is when Demond Sanders is hurt and the Colts' defense sucks it's 'because Bob Sanders is hurt,' but when Mike Brown is hurt and the Bear defense struggles it's simply 'the Bears' defense sucks'?"

He had no answer, but the fact of the matter is...Brian Urlacher is the superstar of the Bear defense. Mike Brown is the leader, best player, catalyst, and biggest run stopper. Sound like someone else you know?

When Mike Brown is out, the Bear defense becomes normal. (As an aside, when you also take Nathan Vasher, Lance Briggs, Dusty Dvoracek, Charles Tillman, Adam Archuleta and Tommie Harris away from the Bears' defense and they become downright pathetic).

But no one ever mentions it. Nor do many experts remember that Brown didn't play in the Super Bowl last year. However, I have had had more than one level-headed Colts' homer tell me that "the Super Bowl would have been a completely different story if 'you guys' [sic] had Tommie Harris and Mike Brown healthy."

For some inexplicable reason, people think that Demond Sanders ushered the era of the little hard-hitting strong safety into the NFL. "He changed the way the position is played." That's not true. I don't know who did, but Mike Brown was doing what Demond Sanders does as far back as 2000. Demond came into the league in 2004.

The only real difference between Mike and Demond is that Brown has big play capability. He absolutely made a name for himself with a lot of late-game exploits in 2001. Other than that, they're both run-stopping, hard-hitting, undersized, oft-injured strong safeties. Let me show you what I mean from the pro-football reference site.

Mike Brown is a 1-time Pro Bowler & 2-time All-Pro.

Demond Sanders is a 1-time Pro Bowler & 1-time All-Pro
(forgive me, I wrote this a few weeks ago before the 2007 announcements came down...)


Mike Brown was drafted by the Chicago Bears in the 2nd round of the 2000 draft.

Demond Sanders was drafted by the Indianapolis Colts in the 2nd round of the 2004 draft.


Mike Brown is 5'10, 212

Demond Sanders is 5'8, 200.


Mike Brown has missed major portions of three of the past four seasons.

Demond Sanders has missed major portions of two of the past three seasons.


They're both energetic, over-achieving players with good speed and good field awareness. Both have variations of braided hair, and are both good for an interesting quote or three in the postgame.


Now the differences...

Mike Brown has 14 career interceptions. Demond has 4. Brown has 4 sacks. Demond has none. Brown has 7 TDs. Demond has 1. And Brown single-handedly won multiple games with clutch play in 2001.

I'm not saying that Mike Brown is as good of an NFL football player as Bob. I'm saying that he's no less important to his team. And that Sanders did not re-invent the safety position.

Does Mike Brown hit as hard as Demond Sanders? Hey maybe not. But the point is, they both transform the run defense for their teams. And neither of them can come close to staying healthy, so maybe it's actually a moot point.

There has been talk that the Colts do not wish to re-sign Sanders when his contract is up, and that the Bears plan on pursuing him. My thought? Maybe...but I'd rather see what you can do with your own healthy "Bob Sanders" before pursuing a duplicate. Especially one who is only three years younger.

September 29, 2007 - Saturday

’84 ’89 ’98 ’03 ’07

This was the year the Cubs were supposed to go for broke. They spent all that money in the offseason, hired the "perfect" manager, and turned him loose. The 100 year mark is approaching, and so the panic button was pushed.

The dynamics of this season have been unreal. A bad division, a bad start, injuries, team fights, suspensions, game postponements due to opposing players' death, and a very up and down record.

I am the first to say that sports should never have anything to do with real life. Sport is simply a diversion...a momentary distraction from things that matter. Sports should never matter. However, I do happen to take Cub baseball and Bradley basketball fairly seriously in the heat of the moment. And 2007 will likely be remembered (by me at least) as the year the Cubs were able to kind of shift my focus in the middle of a crappy-to-fairly-crappy summer.

As I mentioned, the season started roughly for the Cubs. Some friends of mine and I had tickets for the Sunday, June 3rd game...but as that date drew nigh, it almost seemed like it would already be an irrelevant game. They started off 7-13, battled back to 20-21, but then had lost six games in a row (and 10 of 12) but the time I made it to Wrigley on June 3rd. What's more...two days earlier Carlos Zambrano and Michael Barrett had engaged in a public fight in the dugout during the game. This was very bad. And the previous day Lou Piniella had kicked dirt on the third base umpire after Angel Pagan was called out on a boneheaded baserunning decision. He was supsended. The team was a complete mess. They were a season-worst NINE games under .500, and had fallen seven and a half games back of first place.

But that Sunday afternoon at Wrigley things turned around. The Cubs became a good baseball team in one day. Mark DeRosa hit a first inning grand slam, and the Cubs beat the Braves 10-1. The next day I moved to Indiana and started listening to almost every game on Gold 95.9 FM. It was suddenly a different season. And it couldn't have come at a better time for me personally. The Cubs provided a three hour hiatus from reality every night, and they were playing good baseball to boot.

Since I saw them that day in early June, they have gone 62-45. Immediately they ran off nine of 13 (and 17 of 25). That included a seven game winning streak at the end of June. They began to win most series, and their longest losing streak the rest of the way would be four. In my mind, the season is broken up very succinctly into pre-Wrigley Field visit, and post-Wrigley visit.

Eighty six. That's the number I've targeted for a while. Certainly 84. The Cardinals won the division with 83 wins last year. And I made a lot of fun of them. I thought that was weak and undeserving. So when the Cubs started to make their push, it was apparent that the division-winning team would not have a very impressive record. I wanted 84 wins at the very least, and 86 for good measure. Remember, the Cubs only won 88 games in 2003 when they last won the division (they actually won more the following year when they missed out on the playoffs). There is an asterisk in my mind next to the 2006 Cardinals' world championship. I don't want that to be the case should the Cubs do something special this year.

I've always made a big deal about teams not backing into championships. I was so pleased that the Bears and Colts both made it to the Super Bowl last season because they were the best team from each conference. I've often said that when the Cubs ever do win the World Series, I hope it's not a cheap back-in job where they sneak in the Wild Card and draw some weak opponents in the playoffs. I want to be able to look back at that season and remember that the Cubs were dominant. The Cubs haven't been dominant this year, but it's been an extremely memorable and thrilling season, and one that would certainly serve as a nice backdrop for a championship.

Last week, the Cubs reached 10 games over .500 for the first time all year. They had won 10 of their 12 to go 83-73 for the year. It was almost beginning to look like a first place record. And so for the first time in a while, I wasn't ashamed of the Central Division as a whole. But then the Cubs got swept at Florida this week. Oh well...it still might be enough.

I remember 2003 so well. I had just moved to Texas, but was immediately consumed by the midwest baseball team I had always loved. Right off the bat I had made two new good friends--both liked the Cubs every bit as much as I did. I didn't really have a job job. I was working for Baylor Dining Services and as a research assistant at Baylor. But I had all my evenings free. And we had those guys over to watch the game. Every game. It was what we did that October.

The first playoff game at Atlanta, Dr. Carbonara opened up the lecture hall to show the game on the big screen. It felt so epic. Much larger than the baseball playoffs had ever felt before. And the Cubs played like a different team. All of a sudden all the frustrations of the regular season seemed so far away. These were the playoff Cubs.

And so it was. Clutch. Randall Simon. Doug Glanville. Mark Prior. Kerry Wood. Kenny Lofton. All these guys seemed to become larger than life in the playoffs. My life got put on hold. Later people asked me if I was OK recently. I realized no one had heard from me. I was in my first semester of grad school, but studying seemed to be a non-issue for about a month. I was listening to Extended Post Game on WGN radio with David Kaplan last night. He implored the listeners, "Enjoy the ride. No matter what happens, you're going to enjoy it. You're going to enjoy not getting a lot of sleep. You're going to enjoy not returning many phone calls." And immediately I was transported back to 2003. He was right. Time stood still while the Cubs were in the playoffs.

This time? I'm much too busy for all that. I'm just hoping I get to see and/or listen to most of the Cubs' playoff games. Then again, there may be only three. I'm prepared for that. The Cubs already did their job for me personally this year. They got me through the summer. Now I want to see them win it. But I don't need it. I handled the Steve Bartman game alrightly, I think I'll be fine no matter what happens here.

SONGS OF SUMMER

September 18, 2007 - Tuesday

SONGS OF SUMMER

There will always be songs linked to different experiences and different eras. I can specifically recall exact songs from specific seasons of the calendar over the last half decade or so. Here are ten songs that will forever remind me of the Summer of 2007 (for better or worse)...
1. Hey There Delilah - Plain White Tees
2. Home - Daughtry
3. Umbrella - Rihanna
4. Broken - Lifehouse
5. Breath - Breaking Benjamin
6. What If - Coldplay
7. Palm of Your Hand - Satellite Soul
8. Who We Are - Lifehouse
9. If You Let Me Love You - Smalltown Poets
10. Forever - Papa Roach

(I didn't say I was proud of all the songs...)

Priorities and Stuff

August 16, 2007 - Thursday

Priorities and Stuff

Nathan LaGrange once told me, "If I don't have God as number one in my life, it's not like that first slot is empty. Something always moves in to take His place." It's scary how you can get a little carried away—even with the right things. You can do good things with pure intentions with correct motives and still find yourself drifting from center just slightly.

Think about what jealousy can do in a human relationship. It will drive us to the unthinkable. I'm sure we've all been there. How much more when the Maker of the universe sees a heart He created replace Him with something altogether empty and carnal? James 4:5: "Or do you suppose that it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, 'The Spirit which He has caused to dwell in our hearts yearns jealously over us'?" What have I yearned for over the years? As a human I have limited and crude resources with which to act on a jealous feeling. But He has all of creation at His disposal to wake us up. And sometimes that doesn't feel much good at all. But it works.

Larry Crabb said in "Shattered Dreams": "All of us are trapped by addiction to a desire for something less than God." I know it well. Of course it doesn't seem like "something less than God" at the time. Maybe just something in addition to… Certainly not something to replace. But it's dangerous nonetheless. Tom told me (of that quote): "There's a book of commentary that could go along with that, I'll leave it at that for now."

In the book "Sacred Romance," John Eldredge writes: "If we believe that this life is our best shot at happiness, if this is as good as it gets, we will live desperate demanding and eventually despairing men and women. We will place on this world a burden it was never mean to bear."

I think we'd all like to think we're at least a little bit in control. That we can control our own level of happiness at least in part. The above quote is both reassuring and excruciatingly crippling at the same time. If you take all that power away from me, that messes with my mind. But the truth of it can be very comforting if used correctly.

I had been on the verge of many kinds of fears as of late. Fear of a miss-step. Fear of failure. Fear of falling on my face. Fear of destroying my life. Fear of pain. Fear of repeat pain. Fear of still hating my job tomorrow. Fear of hating my life tomorrow. Fear of getting taken advantage of. Fear of getting walked all over. Again. Fear of looking like a fool. Fear of looking naïve. Fear of looking unwise and ignorant.

Pastor Ron at church was talking from the Psalms this summer. One particular Sunday about a month ago was probably the most poignant message I've ever heard at a specific time in my life. It was unbelievable how relevant and timely the entire deal was.

He spoke of fear "evaporating." I liked the imagery that accompanied that. All the points were good, but the first—Fear Evaporates From Regular Intimacy with God (Psalm 91:1)—got to me particularly. Simply put…it works. We may not like it. It may not be how we would choose for it to work. But that's how it goes. However, that's a real discipline. And hard work. Another one was "Fear evaporates from faith declarations." And the final one (not altogether different from the first) was "Fear evaporates when we love God deeply." Easier said than done, but necessary nonetheless.

As I said, the sermon couldn't have been any more timely. Oh I'm still afraid maybe, say…a couple thousand times a day. But there's a certain peace that comes from actually putting some of this stuff into practice.

Whales and gales and plans that fail. It's amazing how we reframe our life until it's so off base it's not even funny. I had this verse from Proverbs 16 in my caption for awhile: "People make plans in their minds, but only the Lord can make them come true. Depend on the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Not too radical of a thought, I don't suppose. But it sure does take some of the pressure off. Another translation: "The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes; but the Lord weigheth the spirits. Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established."

It's been said that "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think." These days the thinking and the feeling seem to be running together an awful lot for me. And I certainly haven't found a lot very humorous in recent times.

It's amazing what a mind game life does become. I visited with a friend in the Midwest for a weekend this summer. He gave me a couple "ouch" verses:
"But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most holy faith and pray in the Holy Spirit." Jude 1:20. Nobody's going to do our heavy lifting for us. Corporate gatherings and group Bible study serve their respective purposes. But if the groundwork is not being laid on a personal level, the others will lack footing. And that will show up, believe me.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18.

And then one of my favorite verses (and one that haunts me all the time): "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2. That's about as simple as the Bible ever gets. There's a formula right there. It's not a mystery.

Now…if I could only remember that on a daily basis and maybe apply some of it here and there. Maybe that's a process. I don't know. I'm sure there are certain levels of realization here and there. But it's amazing when real life kicks in how it will make you step back and evaluate some of this stuff.

HALF A YEAR

Saturday, June 30, 2007

It's nearly impossible for me to believe that today marked the halfway point of 2007. I so very vividly remember New Year's Eve. This year looks like it will be divided pretty neatly in half for me: 1). A whirlwind of planning / packing /connecting / traveling / searching / wrapping things up / and moving for the first six months. 2). Trying to find my niche in a new locale and discovering satisfaction in the little things (it seems) for the second six months.

How clearly I remember where I was on New Year's Eve. There was a small and intimate gathering and a miniature worship/prayer service just after midnight. I can still remember specific requests, pleadings, and phrases that were uttered around the room that night (as well as my own unspoken sentiments). It seems cruel that life would only give you so little time to get all this accomplished. It's half way through 2007. I have no idea if I'm a better or worse person than January 1st. Who's to say?

How do you measure progress and regression? Success and failure? Holiness and carnality? How do you know if you've stuck to God's plan for you this year? Being a sentimental guy, I have the tendency to mark days and take things like the halfway point of a year to step back and evaluate. But what is the barometer? Like I alluded to, so far 2007 has been by far the most, um…"full" year of my life. By a long shot. There have been so many varying degrees of emotion and thought and doing and being and living and connecting and trying and failing and succeeding and wallowing and everything else in between. In a way I'm just exhausted. In other ways I'm invigorated and peaceful.

Something funny. Last year Derek and I stopped by Joel Osteen's chuch in Houston. It was early June. For some reason he broke out the whole, "God wants you to know that 2006 is going to be your greatest…year…ever. 2006 is going to be a year of increase. A year of promotion…" bit. He went on and on. I could've sworn it was the first Sunday in January. I don't know if he got confused or pulled up the wrong date on sermonsrus.com or what… I mean, really what does he ever say that's much different than that? But it was funny that he broke out his New Year's message in early June.

Oh yeah…and as I recall, 2006 was not my greatest year yet. It wasn't bad, but it certainly wasn't a year of increase or a year of promotion for me. I wonder what I did wrong.
A random thought…I have no timeframe right now. For so many years it seemed like time was flying by—because it was leading to something. Either school would start back up before long, or I had an impending move, or I had football season for which to prepare at work (which was always a major shift in dynamic there), or I had major travel plans on the horizon, or some sort of life change was on deck. So for years and years it's been, "I can't believe it's only such and such amount of time until…(fill in the blank).

Now? I'm just here. Is this summer flying by? I guess. But what does it all mean? My life is all going to look pretty much the same for a long long time it seems. This is new for me. Even in Nashville—when I didn't know exactly what was next and I had a pretty fixed routine—I still felt temporary overall. This is the first time I haven't felt temporary in a long time. Maybe since early high school. And I don't know what to do with that. It's certainly not a bad thing. It's just been a long time since time was kind of meaningless to me. I'm sure that will change pretty drastically one day though.